Queen of My Heart
by Egon-Starcollector
Summary: When Catherine Willows accepts a transfer to Seattle, Gil Grissom is suprised by his reaction to her absence.


Queen of My Heart --by Egon Starcollector  
  
'CSI' and its characters are the property of CBS, Andrew Zuiker, and Jerry Bruckheimer. "Queen of My Heart" lyrics copywright Hank Williams, Jr. I'm not making a blamed penny off of this.  
  
Rated: PG for mild adult humor.  
  
Gil Grissom stood silently in his office, poring over a file folder he'd pulled from an open drawer. It was Catherine Willows' personnel file. He was studying her resignation, dated six months earlier. Six months, and he still couldn't get used to it.  
  
He tried to tell himself he was happy for her, that she really deserved a promotion. She was a supervisor in Seattle, after all. But he noticed that the bright lights of Las Vegas seemed dimmer somehow...and if he'd allowed himself to be honest, he'd have known why.  
  
"Hey Griss, I'm makin' a run to the deli. You want somethin'?" Warrick Brown's voice broke into Grissom's reverie.  
  
"Ah? Um...tuna fish on rye with mayo, thanks."  
  
"What's got you so wrapped up?"  
  
` "Oh, just some old files."  
  
Warrick gave Grissom his "uh-huh" look. "Like maybe the one that says, 'Willows, Catherine' on the tab?"  
  
"Ah, I...."  
  
Warrick just shook his head. "Griss, I know how you feel about her. I've got eyes." He leaned onto Grissom's desk. "But I don't think Catherine knew. I'll be honest--I think that's why she left. I'll be back in twenty." He turned and went out to the door to go get lunch.  
  
Grissom couldn't seem to sleep when he got home. Warrick's blunt words kept ringing in his ears. He looked at the clock. "Heather should be up."  
  
He knew that Catherine had become somewhat friendly with Lady Heather, owner of a fetish house in a fancy neighborhood. Lady Heather, charming though she was (in her own way), had made Grissom acutely uncomfortable with her eerie ability to read him. *Never felt like a book before,* he reflected dryly as he searched for the woman's phone number.  
  
"Lady Heather? This is Gil Grissom."  
  
"Oh, Mr. Grissom! How lovely to hear from you. And how is Catherine?"  
  
"Well...that's just it. I need your advice."  
  
"Yellow latex is not your color."  
  
Grissom felt himself blush to his toenails. "Ah...not quite it. You see...six months ago, Catherine accepted a transfer to Seattle, where she's a supervisor. I'm happy for her; she certainly deserves it, but...."  
  
"You miss her."  
  
He swallowed. "Well...yes."  
  
"You want her to come back, don't you?"  
  
He paused. To his surprise...he, Gil Grissom, was crying! "More than anything."  
  
"Have you spoken to her at all? Does she know you want her to come back?"  
  
"I've spoken to her a few times, but...I didn't feel it was my place to suggest that she give up her new job just for me."  
  
"Maybe not just for you. For both of you. Listen, here's what you do...."  
  
A short while later, Grissom had a pen and a pad of paper before him on the coffee table. He took a deep breath, and began to write:  
  
Dear Catherine,  
  
Hello!  
  
  
  
I just wanted to tell you what I think about you  
  
  
  
"No...no! That's not me." He ripped off the sheet and started over:  
  
Dear Catherine,  
  
Just thought I'd drop you a line....  
  
  
  
And I don't want to leave out some important part.  
  
  
  
He made a face, then ripped *that* sheet off and started yet again:  
  
Dear Catherine,  
  
I know this is completely out of the blue, but...this is something I should have said a long time ago. I know how badly you wanted this promotion. You certainly deserve it. But Catherine...I miss you.  
  
  
  
You know that I love you and I can't live without you.  
  
You know that you are the queen of my heart.  
  
  
  
After all the years we've known each other and all we've been through together, it seems odd that I'm writing this letter now. I only hope it isn't too late.  
  
Catherine, I...I love you. The first day you came in as a rookie, you took my breath away. I soon learned that you were as intelligent, funny, and strong as you were attractive. You were also, unfortunately, married.  
  
It sounds strange, but every time I looked at your wedding ring I felt hollow inside. That ring meant I would never hold you.  
  
I have to admit I was happy when you left Eddie (he never deserved you anyway), and I was even happier when you divorced him. At last, I might have a chance!  
  
I was very nervous the first time I asked you to dinner. To my immeasurable relief, you said yes. It was the first of many such dinners, remember?  
  
  
  
I've had ladies of passion and women of beauty  
  
But you're the only girl I opened up to.  
  
  
  
I felt like, well, "the king of the world." Just having you on my arm made all those years of longing seem worthwhile. But just when I thought we might be heading for a "real," committed relationship--you handed me your resignation, saying you'd accepted a transfer to Seattle.  
  
  
  
But I closed up tight when you left for another  
  
And that's the part I've never gotten used to.  
  
  
  
Warrick thinks you left because I didn't tell you how I felt about you. Well...now I am. Catherine Willows, I love you. If that means anything at all to you, please...come back.  
  
Love,  
  
Gil  
  
  
  
And the Queen's still in England,  
  
The King's still in Spain.  
  
My love for you is still the same.  
  
You know that I want you 'til death do us part....  
  
You know that you are the queen of my heart.  
  
  
  
He re-read it. His first instinct was to crumple it up and throw it away. *No. If I do...she'll never get it. If she never gets it...she'll never come back.* He set his jaw and put the letter in an envelope. He addressed the envelope, put a stamp on it, then put it out for the mail. Then, he waited.  
  
  
  
If you get this letter, please let me know something:  
  
If you're coming back, or is it all through?  
  
Hey, just tell me yes or no, don't keep me hanging  
  
'Cause that's the part I could never get used to.  
  
  
  
Two months passed without a word from Catherine. Grissom was ready to give up. *I made a fool of myself. I probably frightened her, in fact. What was I thinking?*  
  
One Friday morning, he went home after work and fried some eggs. He poured his coffee, then took the coffee and eggs into the living room to watch the news.  
  
The doorbell rang as he was chewing his third bite. He quickly swallowed, then went to the door (silently thanking God that he hadn't changed into his pajamas yet). "Catherine?"  
  
  
  
And the Queen is in England,  
  
And the King is in Spain  
  
  
  
"You're quite the poet, in your own logical, offbeat way," she said, perusing his letter.  
  
"Um...well...." Oh no, he was blushing again!  
  
"Gil...." Her voice was hardly above a whisper. "I wish you'd said something earlier. I hated Seattle."  
  
"I...thought your prospects would be better up there."  
  
  
  
And all the King's horses  
  
And all the Queen's men  
  
Could never do one thing to keep us apart  
  
If you'd just come back to me  
  
Queen of my heart.  
  
  
  
"Baloney." She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. "My prospects are fine...right here." She rested her head on his chest. He pulled her close and had the definite feeling they would never be so far apart again.  
  
I'm telling you,  
  
You are the queen of my heart. 


End file.
